had quite a nice day today.. seen ssjs music video.. it was damn funny.. they'll surely score very gd marks if making a music vid is 1 of the subjects included in skuls academic crap.. lol.. it was a video of no doubt's don't speak.. i was smiling all the way.. bcos says's face in the vid was reli2 emo.. no joking.. n he looks beta suddenly.. as in cuter.. haha!.. tink i juz heard says say "of cos!".. *grins* anw, went out wit my cuz again.. lol.. juz dat tis time i feel like juz hanging ard wit my cuz.. cos it's been a very2 long time since we've gone out together.. we grew up together.. so, yeah.. we didn't reli go anywhere.. u ppl out there shud get my drift...

hmm.. apart from tis, i wanna say sumting else.. i dunno wat's gotten into me.. lately, i been tryna help ppl wit their probs.. okie.. i noe.. u may find it irritating or mayb even me bein a total busybody/nuisance.. but seriously, if i can help, in any way, y not offer sum help?.. yeah, of cos it's still up to them if they wanna accept it.. but there's reli no harm in tryna help rite?.. for all we noe, the help dat i offered might helped in sum ways.. let's say.. making ppl/them feel beta or sumting else bsides dat.. yeah, yeah.. heard u guys laughing there.. i dun mind dat tho...

anw.. lately, i've been doing a lot of reflection too.. okie, wait.. i do reflect evrytime.. it's juz dat i dun reflect deeply n stuffs like dat.. well, lately i've been reflecting on wat's goin on in my life n my actions nowadays.. i've come to a sudden conclusion.. dat.. mayb i dun fit in the bill of "a-gd-fren" .. i mean.. i dunno.. it's juz dat wat i've been tinking on/of brought me back to.. the last 2 yrs.. when i was in sec 2.. it was early sec 2 to b exact.. i remembered wat happened to me back then...

i was shunned away by my very2 close frens whom i already regarded as my own.. but they turned ard n backstabbed me.. n i didn't even noe wat i did to them.. we always do a lot of stuffs together n crap like dat.. but the sudden change in them was too drastic 4 me.. til i cudn't take it, i broke down n juz wished dat i wud die getting knocked down by a big lorry til im crushed or sumting.. but finally figured out dat dat wasn't gonna help or do any gd.. so when i finally ask them, they dun reli noe too.. i mean.. they dunno wat reasons to gimme.. well, i can't say dat for sure.. i do tink they noe the reasons n it's juz dat they dun wanna tell me...

but dat's not reli the point here.. dat incident had taught me n made me feel wat it's like to haf ppl disliking u for sum no-gd-reasons.. n now.. tis year, i tink i made sum1, who was once close to me n whom i regarded s a sista (i still do actually), feel the same way dat i did back then.. i feel so bad dat even rite now, im like crying, tinking of how painful it was goin thru dat kinda shit alone w/o any gd frens to help u along/out of it.. n im not feeling sorie 4 her or anyting.. cos i dun want her to tink dat in my heart im actually saying sumting like "gd!..u deserve dat!".. no, i dun mean anyting like dat.. i juz dun want her to go wat i've been thru.. it's like learning more abt life the hard way.. n it sux!.. so here i m today, apologising to AZY.. i reli didn't mean to make u feel dat way.. n i've no reasons.. the only ting dat i can say is dat ppl change.. n circumstances change them.. mayb u reli did noting.. or mayb u did.. i mean.. it's not abt u getting all screechy n evryting.. n it's also not abt u acting cute or anyting like dat.. cos gurls do act cute at times.. i dun deny dat i act cute sumtimes too.. but of cos, evryting has a limit, isn't it?.. so, yeah.. im reli sorie...

rite now, at tis moment.. im still tinking abt lots of other stuffs.. n i nid to do sumting abt evryting.. so, yeah.. i'll juz stop here.. i'll b going out soon anw.. hmm.. most probably goin to eat supper n watch movie - aquamarine.. i've been waiting 4 tis movie 4 like ages.. lol.. see u guys ard...



p.s: plz dun 4get to tag my board since u guys r already here aightz.. *winkz*