`iLLuSioNs Of A LiFeTiMe....

Sunday, December 30, 2007

|| A Tiring Week.... ||

hmm..
I can oni recall being tired tis whole week..
n let's see wat i actually did so far...

MON:
Went to take passport size photo at Lavendar (ICA building) for my diving license, which shud haf been taken long ago..
n then went to VivoCity to ajak my bros walk2..
then meet Zai..
supposed to go for interview..
but then they lost our application form..
so we hafta fill in another application form n then she said she'll call us to tell wat time's our interview on wed..
so then my parents ajak Zai along to go eat at Swensen's at Holland..
i can say dat Zai did eat quite a lot..
tho for me..
dat was quite little..
my bros teased her n stuff..
im sure they had a gd time..
but anws, she did get home a lil later than usual...

TUE:
It's Christmas..
so went out wit my family to JB..
watched 2 movies, buy clothes..
ate a lot of tings..
n i still cant get enouf..
i still wanna buy bags n shoes n etcs..
i wanna haf another trip there!..
w/o my bros of cos..
they were such.. hmm..
i dunno wat word to use to describe how they were..
they juz spoiled my mood to shop n walk ard City Square..
so yeah..
looking forward to another trip there..
n we reached home ard 12+..
missed the last bus home..
so ended up taking taxi halfway thru...

WED, THURS, FRI, SAT:
slack at home..
watch tv..
laze ard..
it was so nice to relax after days of goin out consecutively...

TODAY:
went to kenduri in the afternoon at Yishun..
after which my dad met up wit us after work..
n then wanted to bring us to go eat ice cream at Swensen's..
n i haf come to realised..
we haf been goin to eat at Swensen's a lot of times in a week since last week..
oh anw.. we paid using the vouchers my dad got from work..
so no biggie actually..
if we had to use our own $$$..
it'll b on special occasions oni..
dat's a diff case...

So tmr wud b the start of skul..
n it's new yr's eve..
n i've got my schedule pack for tmr.. =)
gonna go skul..
skul's gonna end at 1pm..
n then make my way to Orchard, Lucky plaza to submit my photos for the diving license..
then go straight to Clementi Sports Hall for badminton..
n then go back, play soccer at the street soccer court..
after which go home.. eat or sumting..
then shower.. then make our way to......

WEST COAST PARK..
we plan to ton the nite there..
hope it's goin to b Fun FuN FUN!..
n then mayb new yr itself.. we shall go sumwhere or spent the whole day playing soccer or sumting..
haa.. so looking forward... =)

11:58 PM

Thursday, December 20, 2007

|| Suppressing Evryting... N Dunno Wat Exactly To Feel... ||

hmm..
it's been almost a week since i last updated/posted sumting..
i guess dat's not reli dat long rite..
but anws..
im not sure if there's reli anyting to blog abt these days...

i do a lot of tinking these days..
n i juz haf no idea y..
i guess.. dat's juz me..
always tinking abt sumting evry other day, evry nite before i go to sleep..
sumhow i realised..
time has been passing by so fast..
YET so slow..
sumtimes i wish i cud freeze time..
sumtimes i wish i cud fast forward the time..
sumtimes i wish i can juz go back to the past..
n sum other times..
i juz feel like taking time in my own hands so dat i can do anyting wit it..
u noe.. like..
fast forwarding, going back in time, as n when i like, dat kinda ting..
but of cos.. it's all juz wishful tinking on my part...

.... trapped in the past...

.... can't keep up wit the present...

.... can i handle the future?...

during the nite when only my dad, mum n me were left alone to anyam the ketupats..

there was tis discussion..

n from the discussion..

i cud c dat most of the times..

my parents' views on stuffs collide..

do opposites reli attract??..

i dun wanna comment anyting dat was talked abt during dat lil 'discussion'..

for.. wat i tink.. is wat i tink..

n nobody else reli has to noe...

to DAT boy..

i reli dunno wat else u want from me..

yes.. i did like u..

n mayb i still do like u a lil now..

but it's all fading away..

it's been yrs now..

i dun tink u've been reli serious abt it.. abt me..

n mayb now dat u do..

i dun reli feel the same way as i had before..

i dun wanna ans ur calls..

nor ur smses anymore..

i noe u dunno n dun understand y im suddenly like tis..

dat's mainly bcos evrytime when u 'come' back..

i'll always treated u the same way before..

but now.. it's different..

tings hafta change..

cos if they dun..

u'll never realise ur.. hmm.. mistakes..?

or wateva it is dat u're doin to me...

.... im sorie i hafta do tis...

.... i reli m...

.... it was a decision i hafta make...

.... n i made it...

so today..

is Hari Raya Haji..

evry1 is goin to their grandparent's..

while i..

m at home watching tv..

watching the telemovies dat suria n M'sia's rtmS r showing..

hmm...

there's sumting abt the telemovies during Hari Raya HajiS..

dat never fail to make me cry..

hmm.. most probably.. it's the valuable lesson n values to learn behind it..

or mayb.. it's juz sumting dat's happening n nobody reli ever realise it..

oh wells..

so im sitting at home wit my family..

not raya-ing like evry1 else..

haiz.. i dun understand y tis started..

n how long it'll b on before it ends..

talking abt the sacrifices dat ppl hafta make..

does sacrificing one's ego included?..

cos if it does.. im reli wishing dat DAT SUM1 wud.. *sighs*

but in cases like tis..

im juz a KID..

i haf no say..

it's ADULT'S stuff..

yeah.. wateva..

it's always the ladies dat hafta make the great sacrifice... *sighs heavily*

suddenly today..

tis particular day..

i miss evry1 dat had been INTO n OUTTA my life..

there r sum dat i miss more..

while others, i juz miss the times dat we had spent together..

tho it's impossible to meet up evryday n stuffs..

simple gestures n msgs shows me dat im not forgotten..

as much as they r not..

hmm.. reason y i suddenly miss evry1?..

mayb it's bcos of the songs dat i've been listening to recently..

r the songs dat i like listening to yrs back..

n i still rmmbr the times when we actually sang together to it..

make a joke out of it..

sumting dat happened dat is related to it..

n today, i hafta admit..

i do miss the times dat we spent together..

i dunno y we ended up tis way..

but i guess.. wat happened..

was for the best..

for both of us..

i cudnt hold on to sumting dat wasnt reli there anymore..

u're happy rite now..

while.. i am.. happy too..?

my 2 frens FINALLY made it together a couple of days back..
im happy for u guys u noe..
at last sumting worked out between u 2..
tho i tink dat it shud haf worked out long ago..
n tho sum ppl r against it..
if u guys r happy..
noting else reli matters.. =)

but plz.. dun fight evry other time.. =P

oh well..

i can see dat we're colder to each other now..

or so i tink so..

i noe there is sumting wrong..

i can feel it..

but i juz cant put my finger on wat it reli is..

is my instincts betraying me rite now?..

haiz.. i tink.. sumting did happened huh..

but it makes us.. keep a lot of stuffs..

to ourselves now..

or mayb it's juz me?..

i dun reli noe..

but wateva it is..

if dat's (wateva the 'dat' is) helping u.. in any way..

then it's a gd ting...

i'll b happy for u... =)

Hadi cant wait for tmr..

so m i..

finally..

sum exercise wid!..

badminton..

n then soccer..

n lotsa fun!..

umm.. i sure hope there'll b lotsa fun..

i dun reli wanna keep my mind on stuffs for too long..

n i dun reli wanna show it..

not to my parents..

not to my frens..

not to anybody...

it's juz ME ....

.... Supressing evryting...

.... n not knowing wat exactly to feel...

10:09 PM

Friday, December 14, 2007

|| *sighs* ||

I had a decision to make....

.... n i made it...

...... i tink.....

11:48 PM

Friday, December 07, 2007

|| Speechless.... ||

haiz..
i tot u knew..
dat i dun wanna hurt anybody..
n u told me to do juz dat last night..
i dunno when u will ever understand it..
n obviously.. dat time when u told me to..
it was reli a bad timing..
n now..
u tell me to forget wat u said bcos u were stressed n tinking too much, etc..
u gotta understand..
dat once sumting's been said..
it juz cannot b taken back..
i dunno wat else to do..
i reli dun..
so now..
u tell me wat to do...

.... cos the hurt dat i feel inside...

.... is a thousand times painful...

.... n i dun tink u even noe it.....

8:33 PM

Thursday, December 06, 2007

|| I Cannot Do Tis Anymore... haiz ||

i reli dun understand y u like to do tis to me..
for yrs.. u haf always come n gone whenever u feel like it..
i've been tryna forget u..
but evrytime it progresses n the feelings kinda fade away..
u'd juz suddenly appear..
as if noting's wrong..
n u do all the tings dat u do..
to make me smile, n laugh n all..
u reli gotta stop doin tis..
i wanna move on..
i wanna move on n find sum1 who'll appreciate me more than u do..
so plz... juz plz..
stop it..
juz stop it...
i cannot do tis anymore..
i reli cant..
im so sorie....

.... n im not shedding any tears for u...

.... as i haf always been before...

11:48 PM

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

|| The Competition... ||

today was a very busy day..
went very late for Jacky's lecture..
but sumhow i convinced him to mark my attendance.. heh..
after which was DE lecture..
it was ok.. i understood wat he was tryna teach us..
but sumhow.. i was soo sleepy..
i cudnt wait to get out of the LT..
so rite after DE lecture, Kak Zai n me went to the club room to meet the rest..
after which we waited for Kak Dillah before goin to TFA's (theatre for the arts) backstage..
we waited for the singers to get ready before we make up for them..
so while waiting..
we did quite a lot of tings..
we ate n talked..
after which took lotsa funny pics..
we had fun..
we also had the time to wipe away the spilled green tea..
n when they finally got ready, we make-up almost all of them..
even the guys..
n all of them were friendly.. n funny...

after we're done..
we got free tix to watch the competition..
so we went.. tinking dat it'll b fun..
but of cos.. not as expected..
the solos n duets were horrible.. no offense..
but i was reli impressed wit the young composers category..
i luv the songs dat they composed..
it was reli nice.. all 3 of them..
but it's a pity..
dat all of them din get prize.. =(
oh well..
after the performance ended, we went to eat..
Kak Lyz, Kak Has, Kak Dillah, Kak Zai n me..
while eating, we discussed abt our next outing..
hope dat it'll b a blast..
n i juz found out.. there's course for us on the 22nd dec.. cool..

11:07 PM

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

|| Make-up For Cuzzin... ||

i cancelled the study plan wit Kai today..
bcos after skul today..
i needed to go to my cuzzin's hse..
i hafta do her make-up for her..
cos she's haveing a prom night after finishing her As..
so Kak Yana n me dressed her up n gave her ideas..
we were kept bz.. being her PA for prom night.. lol
so after looking at her outfit n hair-do, which she did it today b4 coming home to make-up..
i decided on wat type of make-up to do on her..
i tink it took abt an hr plus to get her make-up done..
cos she cant sit still!.. lol
n after evryting was done..
woahh!!.. she looked hot!..
it's very rare n hard to see her dress up n wear make-up..
even eye liner..
so yea.. we sent her down to hail a cab..
n there goes our hot princess wit her fren..
to the prom...

back at my aunt's place..
we ate.. n talked..
abt a lot of stuffs..
n it kinda help me understand Kak Yana even more..
i stayed til abt 10+pm..
then went to take the direct bus to my hse..
i nearly din wake up n miss my stop..
so now im home..
feeling kinda satisfied n happy wit myself..
knowing dat my make-up skills haf kinda improved... =P

11:57 PM

Sunday, December 02, 2007

|| Juz So Random... ||

Im a pampered child... =)

oh oh.. and I met hakkim..
totally unexpected n coincidental..

And… The world’s a small place...

11:10 PM

Saturday, December 01, 2007

|| The Chalet... ||

heyhey..
i went for the chalet yesterday anw..
it was great..
meeting n making new frens..
well.. actually another few frens oni..
cos the rest i met b4..
n the new ones wud b Hakim=Kai's bro, Michelle=Hadi's gf n Fara=Rashid's gf..
plus Hadi's family n Kai's cuzzin bro..
waited too long for Jae to come..
n when she was there oredy..
we all oredy went to play soccer..
so she stayed at the chalet n wait for us to return..
which of cos.. was a lil late..
cos the boys was too bz playing soccer..
dat they asked the gurls to go back 1st..
so Michelle n me went back to start the bbq fire..
which Kai tot dat even when they got back, the fire still not started yet..
while Farah waited for Rashid to finish playing b4 the both of them go n take the satay..
so when they got back from soccer..
the fire was oredy started by us..
so Kai was wrong.. =P
we managed to start the fire..
wit the help of Hakim.. thx Kim.. =)
after which was juz bbq-ing n eating..
talking n joking ard..
n then it was time.. for me to go home..
i took the 2nd last train back home..
n sumting funny happened when i was abt to reach commonwealth..
shant tell u guys abt it.. *buek*
n so i was back home.. b4 1am...

so now im at home..
juz relaxing n doing my stuffs..
quite bored at home..
but better than goin out..
cos im quite tired too... =)

.... i was so glad dat i went...

.... bcos it kept me bz wit fun...

.... n away from the memories...

.... nevertheless...

.... Happy Birthday to u...

3:06 PM