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`iLLuSioNs Of A LiFeTiMe....
My Story To Tell
Saturday, May 31, 2008

|| Disappointed...? ||

Tears were shed,
On the birthday itself..
Good or bad,
She couldn’t tell..
She faked a smile for everyone..
But they could see her eyes don’t shine…




Dear you,
Even though I don’t think you read my blog..
It doesn’t matter anyway..
But really..
My heart sank when you asked me about her..
Somehow, obviously..
You don’t see me the way I see you..
It’s sad and pretty disappointing..
But I’ve known right from the start..
To not expect anything from you..
Because if you were to find out these feelings I have for you..
Things might, or I dare say, will change..
For the good or worst, I am really not sure as yet..
But for now..
I’ll just remain silent..
I like the way things are right now..
And I wouldn’t want anything to change that…



…. And so she shall remain silent...
… Until you find out about it yourself…
… She’s just afraid...
… Too afraid…
….. To lose you….


7:38 AM


Friday, May 30, 2008

|| Happy 18th Birthday WIDURI !!! ||

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WIDURI (& DYLA)!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!


Yay!!.. Yessaa!..
I finally turn 18 today!
Woohoo, woohoo, woohoooo!
Bike license.. Here I come!!

Ok ok wait..
1st thing 1st..
Happy Birthday Kak Fadilah!
Who turned 19 yesterday..
And I missed the mini celebration held for her in campus..
But it's ok..
Later still on..
We'll enjoy ourselves to the max lah!
With the rest of the crazy ppl..
(Though there's no definite plan as yet.. Heh)
So a little dedication here goes out to her..

Nur Fadilah..
A sweet and cute girl..
Beautiful, inside out..
Who's at the same time..
Very silly, lame and funny..
There's so much more to her...

We've been friends since Personal Development Class..
Which was back in 1st sem..
We weren't really that close then..
But nevertheless..
Compared to the rest of the friends that I have in campus..
You're one of those who were closer to me..
And this sem..
Things started to change.. A lot..
We're closer than I thought we'd be..
And I'm thankful for that..
I love you lah!..


So updates on yesterday actually..
I went for my night class..
Came late, but better late than never (Anthony's quote =] )..
Pity Iskandar who brought his stuff just to show me..
Sorry eh..
And during the class, Razis passed me the present that Khairil gave..
After the class, planned to wait for Zainab at macs..
So I sat with Saiful, Hadi, Fazdli, Faizal, Darren, Razis and Anthony..
Wahhh!.. Really unexpected you know..
When I wanted to get up and leave, cos Abg's already waiting at the carpark for me..
They began singing the birthday song for me LOUDLY..
And some other guys who were there whom I dunno, joined the singing..
Then came Iskandar from dunno where with a big present..
I was really surprised lar..
And so embarrassed!..
But I like the feeling though.. =)
Thanks guys..
For the effort.. It paid off right..
Cos you know you guys won't be joining me today..
Then quickly planned something eh.. Bijak, bijak..
Ok.. So here's the part which totally left me, hmm, confused?..
I would be riding home..
So I didn't know how to ride home with the big present..
I don't even wanna remember that part seh..
But it was a great experience..
Cos when I got off the bike..
My back was aching cos couldn't sit properly on the bike..
The journey home was ard 1/2 an hour..
Imagine that..
But nevertheless..
Thanks everyone..
For the presents..
And for those who stayed up til 12am just so you could wish me happy birthday..
Special thanks goes to Babe..
Cos darLing.. I really didn't think you'd remember... =)

Ok.. So here's my supposedly plans for the day later..
Wait for Abg to book out..
Then go enrol for license..
Then quickly make my way to campus..
To meet Kak Nurul/Huda to pass her the chalet money..
Then go karaoke with Jannah, Dyla and the rest..
Then after that I dunno what's the plan..
Cos this plan is not confirmed yet anw..
But 1 of my plans include..
Staying out late til tmr morning..
And it doesn't really matter if my dad don't allow..
Cos I'll still stay out late... =)
So you guys have to wait til sat or sun for my next update..
Or probably later than you thought.. Hehe


11:03 AM


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

|| After So Long.... ||

I skipped sch today..
Planned to get MC at first..
But because I got the excuse letter from 12pm til 3pm..
I decided to ask Iskandar to help me tap my card for the lectures instead...


So Abg POP-ed today..
From his BMC (Basic Medic Course)..
Hmm.. Wonder where he'll be posted out to next..
Went to his POP ceremony with his godmum..
Saw the men in green..
Tempted?.. Drooled?..
Lol.. Not me..
But some of them were pretty cute though..
Like the guards who were on duty... Heh =)

The ceremony started at 1pm..
And it ended ard 3+pm..
Then I saw Erwin..
Which was kinda unexpected..
Because I thought that he's still studying..
Oh wells..
Took a cab, sent his godmum to Bukit Panjang, then straight to his house..
Then I took a bus home, while he changed and all..
I got home and changed too..
Then he fetched me at our usual place at ard 6+pm and off we go..
Met his platoon mate at The Cathay..
Wanted to watch Narnia at Cathay, but then only left the front row seats..
So changed plans, go to PS instead to watch the movie..
Watched the 8.20pm show..
Second front row seat..
It wasn't so bad because we were at the center..
Then halfway through the show..
There was a major technical problem..
Lol.. So we got refunds..
Plus.. 3 entry passes..
Woohooo!
After that, Abg's friend left..
While we made our way to Spize, near Great World..
After which, we went straight home..
Which was around 11pm just now...





Dear you,
I don't know how we got closer..
Or when it even started..
I didn't even see it coming..
At first, it wasn't even like that...

When my friends started to ask about you..
When my supervisors say things like that..
When my mum started asking about you..
That's when I actually took the time..
To take a look at what they're referring to..
And then I, too, sensed it...

The way you care for me..
Everytime I'm with you..
You never fail to make me smile and laugh..
You just know..
What to do and say, at the right time..
And they're still playing in my mind..
And I appreciate it very much...

When things in my life..
Started to change drastically..
You're the one..
Who had been there for me for all those times..
You heard me cry non-stop..
When I feel like dying..
You'd kept me alive..
You saw me at my most vulnerable..
I don't think I'd make it through without you..
For that, I'm thankful...

Sometimes when we talk about some stuffs..
I could see the hurt you feel in your eyes..
During those times..
I really wished I could do something for you..
Just like you have been doing for me everytime..
Because the hurt that you feel..
I could relate to them..
And it's kinda the last thing I'd want you to feel...




..... I finally met HIM...
... But now that I have found him...
... I'm feeling a bit apprehensive...
... Because I'm not sure...
... If he sees me the way I see him....


11:49 PM


Monday, May 26, 2008

|| One Helluva Emotional Ride... ||

It's been a very, very long time since I last updated..
And I've also decided to blog using proper english from now on..
Don't ask me why..
I have no idea and no ans to that...

So life has been pretty much a bitch, I must say..
But at the same time..
Very fun-filled..
With some being very memorable..
And some being a terrible nightmare..
A thing.. That I'm sure I'll remember for the rest of my life..
So let me recap everything that I remembered since I last updated...


Before my second year started..
I was busy with work..
Working and working as much as I can..
Just so that I can save enough money..
Hmm.. There was this particular night after work..
I tried riding my colleague's KR..
He taught me the basics..
But in the end, the engine died on me everytime..
All because I let go of the clutch too fast..
It was fun though..
Then a week before sch starts, MUA had a meeting, which I didn't attend..
But I was informed of what was going on..
So on Wednesday night..
I last minute-ly asked Iza if she was free on Friday to be my model..
And thank god, she was free..
So she became my model..
And I did 2 looks on her..
Firstly a dramatic, bold look..
Another a sweet, natural look..
She look awesome..
And for the first time..
I was kinda impressed with my own work.. =)
After that, went to secret recipe at Novena with Zai, her model (Sarah) and Iza..
Had a lot of fun..
At the same time, we realised that it's a really small world...

Then second year started..
Like everyone else..
I missed my friends and wanted to see them very, very much..
I was very, very happy to be able to meet them everyday, have lunch and do stuffs together again..
First week of sch was hectic..
Had to do a whole lot of preparation for the Club's booth for Club Crawl..
I switched from MUA (Make-Up Artiste) to LA (Live Audio) from time to time..
To make sure that I keep both sides balance..
But I think I failed..
Because most of the time, I was at MUA's booth instead..
This was naturally because..
MUA didn't really have enough members who were free and willing to look after the booth..
While LA had plenty..
Think my LA friends understood my position..
Thx guys.. =)
And.. It was bloody tiring 0f course...

At the same time..
Work had been ok..
But sometimes i feel like quitting..
Because of the environment there..
On second thoughts, because of the money..
And because I need it..
I just continue working there for a while..
Until I found another job.. heh =)

At home..
Hmm..
Those who knows, knows..
Those who don't..
I don't plan to tell you anything yet anw...


Somehow..
I feel a bit detached from my usual cliques from the last semester..
And I have no idea why..
Maybe because I haven't been attending classes regularly..
But these kinds of period of breaks..
Made me realise that there's others who cares a lot and equally as well..
I can tell that I've been hanging out with another different group of friends..
Whom I wasn't that close with in the previous semesters..
And thinking again..
It's really a joy hanging out with them..
It makes me feel like there's nothing worrying or stopping them from laughing and smiling..
Though I do know that there are things that are bugging them..
We can't ever stop laughing..
Surely Jannah or Dyla will say something to make me burst out laughing..
And when Aidil's with us..
There's not a sec not filled with laughter..
Kan Aidil kan? *kening2*



Oh anw..
Though I haven't really been attending classes..
Last week was a really busy week..
From Tues til Fri..
Make-up for Dance Company for graduation performance..
Had fun in the process..
Though most of the time..
Zainab's not there.. (sighs)
The juniors were as crazy as we are..
Really fun..

On fri..
Went for Jam And Hop at campus..
Woohoo!..
It was a blast!.. I like..
I laughed a lot and dance a bit..
I really let my hair down and just enjoyed myself..
it's been a really long since i last enjoyed myself so much and not care about anything..
And I felt secure and protected being in front of the Abg-AbgS..
Great Music + Great Company = A Great Time
Thx Jannah, Dyla, and my LA friends..
Oh oh.. And I want the photos taken ok!
Every single one of them tau... =)

Went JB the other day..
And guess what....
I went on a MINI SHOPPING SPREE..
Weee~
Ok lah.. It's a mini one only..
I went with Ibu and Abg..
So Ibu bought 1 shoe..
Which I could share.. Heh..
I bought 1 too..
And....
Abg bought a Levi's sneakers for me!..
Thx Abg... =)


Talking about which..
I've been spending most of my time..
Correction.. Most of my weekends...
With Abg..
We watched a couple of movies already..
let's see....

1st - The Bucket List
2nd - Rule #1
3rd - Street Kings
4th - Congkak (in JB)
5th - Forbidden Kingdom (in JB)
6th - Iron Man
7th - What Happens In Vegas
8th - Speed Racer

OK!.. I've realised that it's not just a couple..
A lot of movies..
We also watched DVDs at my place..
When he has no plans and doesn't go out with his friends..
I think we watched, hmm..
Unrest, Step Up 2, Ah Long Ptd. Ltd., Untraceable, Brave, The Bank Job, Hero Wanted and Shutter..
Woah.. That's a lot eh.. Lol..
Next up!.. Would be 21, Wanted, Get Smart, etc..
Can hardly wait you know... =)

Ok.. I think that's abt it..
I think my updating stops here..
Til the next post..
Have fun reading?..
Take care people... *winks*


12:46 AM


|| The GurL ||

Photobucket

|| Widuri ||
|| Gemini ||
|| Down-to-earth ||
|| Open-minded ||
|| Fun-loving ||
|| Gd Listener ||
|| Quiet At Times,Otherwise Very Hyper ||

|| Loves ||

|| MY SAYANG ||
|| KemRa ||
|| Music ||
|| Sweets ||
|| Chilling ||
|| Chocolates ||
|| Ice Creams ||
|| Singing ||
|| Perfumes ||
|| Making Frens ||

|| Hates ||

|| Liars ||
|| Two-faced Freaks ||
|| Empty Promises ||
|| Nonsensical & Immature Person ||

|| Wishes For ||

|| Bike License ||
|| Car License ||
|| Advanced Diving License ||
|| Estee Lauder - Pleasures ||
|| Lotsa New Clothes ||
|| Shoes ||
|| A Diving Getaway ||
|| Swimming with Dolphins ||
|| Calm, Peace & Serenity ||
|| More Happy Days Ahead ||

|| Speak Up ||



|| My Current Emotion ||



MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com



|| Credits ||

Designer: shuimins
Others: 1 | 2