i was so amazed..
it's a very different feeling when u see it on tv n when u get to see it in real life...
i din expect it to b reli breath-taking..
tho we're not suppose to hold our breath underwater..
for the 1st time breathing underwater in the ocean..
the feeling dat i felt, it juz cudn't b explained..
when i was swimming, looking at the corals, dead n alive, n the colourful fishes..
i din worry abt anyting..
i reli enjoyed myself during the 4 dives dat i had..
to b enjoying the wind after the dives on the speedboat n ferry..
it was a reli nice feeling..
not forgetting the sunset view..
it was all soo peaceful n calm..
IM RELI LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT DIVES.... =)
11:58 PM
ok lah.. mayb not reli..
cos i din go skul on mon..
then tues i tink dun haf anyting..
except dat i went to play pool wit the guys n pris..
then on wed, went to sch..
took my time to go to sch.. reached for 1st lesson at 8.30am..
then after skul, din feel like goin to live audio cos of the freaking cp..
then after dat went to MUA, after which, i went home..
then today oso never go skul.. cos din feel like it..
n there were a couple of tings not finished..
seriously....
i reli nid a break..
so today's the day..
dat i'll be gone..
gone to sumwhere far, far away..
filled wit total peace n serenity.......
3:23 PM
tis week's schedule sooo packed..
i nearly died!..
so stressful..
nid to hand in report + do presentation for PD on mon..
then on tues i haf course, which i haven read up anyting on it yet the other day..
so during the course, i was like, blur most of the time..
then on wed i was sick.. tis time reli sick..
haf MC to prove it ok..
then juz now had presentation for comm skills..
i did quite well tho.. = )
Then let's see my schedule for the next few days..
hmmm...
TMR go lavendar n jln besar stadium to watch soccer..
then confirm can go eat durian.. MmMmMm.. yummy!
then go pool n learn properly on SAT..
gathering for the kiddies b'days at east coast park on SUN..
then the next week when sch starts, hopefully i'll go to sch..
yeah, i tink dat's it..
for the next week..
wud b quite boring..
but still haf the cp to complete...
we'll juz see how it goes...
read my boring posts..
wait.. i dun even noe if it's being read... hmmmm...
11:08 PM
I dun understand... Y u can't see wat i nid...
Dat's y u dun understand me...
There's lots of other tings dat i dun understand....
I dun understand y u must do all those tings dat u did n still doing...
Wat is left at home now is..
Wait.. I dun even sense home anymore..
Even if i feel it, it's like a home without u..
Evryting started falling apart the moment u started doin all those nonsense....
U might not noe..
Nor do u even realise..
How broken evry1 feels inside..
We might not show it..
Nor do we say anyting abt it..
But we do feel very hurt deep within...
Haiz..
I tried to keep all these feelings deep inside..
Anger.. Hatred.. Sadness.. Etc..
For almost more than a yr now..
I was void of any emotions..
I tried not to feel any..
It was the only way to keep me sane..
But now a lot of qns r getting to me..
Qns dat trigger these emotions..
N suddenly.. Im able to feel again...
Honestly..
I'd rather not feel..
When i start to feel..
The more i start to feel..
I feel all the pain inside..
The pain of the memories dat r not erasable..
The pain of missing lotsa ppl dat i used to haf in my life..
The pain... Just the pain i feel inside..
is enouf to make me insane...
4:06 AM
