hmm..
it's been almost a week since i last updated/posted sumting..
i guess dat's not reli dat long rite..
but anws..
im not sure if there's reli anyting to blog abt these days...
it's been almost a week since i last updated/posted sumting..
i guess dat's not reli dat long rite..
but anws..
im not sure if there's reli anyting to blog abt these days...
i do a lot of tinking these days..
n i juz haf no idea y..
i guess.. dat's juz me..
always tinking abt sumting evry other day, evry nite before i go to sleep..
sumhow i realised..
time has been passing by so fast..
YET so slow..
sumtimes i wish i cud freeze time..
sumtimes i wish i cud fast forward the time..
sumtimes i wish i can juz go back to the past..
n sum other times..
i juz feel like taking time in my own hands so dat i can do anyting wit it..
u noe.. like..
fast forwarding, going back in time, as n when i like, dat kinda ting..
but of cos.. it's all juz wishful tinking on my part...
.... trapped in the past...
.... can't keep up wit the present...
.... can i handle the future?...
during the nite when only my dad, mum n me were left alone to anyam the ketupats..
there was tis discussion..
n from the discussion..
i cud c dat most of the times..
my parents' views on stuffs collide..
do opposites reli attract??..
i dun wanna comment anyting dat was talked abt during dat lil 'discussion'..
for.. wat i tink.. is wat i tink..
n nobody else reli has to noe...
to DAT boy..
i reli dunno wat else u want from me..
yes.. i did like u..
n mayb i still do like u a lil now..
but it's all fading away..
it's been yrs now..
i dun tink u've been reli serious abt it.. abt me..
n mayb now dat u do..
i dun reli feel the same way as i had before..
i dun wanna ans ur calls..
nor ur smses anymore..
i noe u dunno n dun understand y im suddenly like tis..
dat's mainly bcos evrytime when u 'come' back..
i'll always treated u the same way before..
but now.. it's different..
tings hafta change..
cos if they dun..
u'll never realise ur.. hmm.. mistakes..?
or wateva it is dat u're doin to me...
.... im sorie i hafta do tis...
.... i reli m...
.... it was a decision i hafta make...
.... n i made it...
so today..
is Hari Raya Haji..
evry1 is goin to their grandparent's..
while i..
m at home watching tv..
watching the telemovies dat suria n M'sia's rtmS r showing..
hmm...
there's sumting abt the telemovies during Hari Raya HajiS..
dat never fail to make me cry..
hmm.. most probably.. it's the valuable lesson n values to learn behind it..
or mayb.. it's juz sumting dat's happening n nobody reli ever realise it..
oh wells..
so im sitting at home wit my family..
not raya-ing like evry1 else..
haiz.. i dun understand y tis started..
n how long it'll b on before it ends..
talking abt the sacrifices dat ppl hafta make..
does sacrificing one's ego included?..
cos if it does.. im reli wishing dat DAT SUM1 wud.. *sighs*
but in cases like tis..
im juz a KID..
i haf no say..
it's ADULT'S stuff..
yeah.. wateva..
it's always the ladies dat hafta make the great sacrifice... *sighs heavily*
suddenly today..
tis particular day..
i miss evry1 dat had been INTO n OUTTA my life..
there r sum dat i miss more..
while others, i juz miss the times dat we had spent together..
tho it's impossible to meet up evryday n stuffs..
simple gestures n msgs shows me dat im not forgotten..
as much as they r not..
hmm.. reason y i suddenly miss evry1?..
mayb it's bcos of the songs dat i've been listening to recently..
r the songs dat i like listening to yrs back..
n i still rmmbr the times when we actually sang together to it..
make a joke out of it..
sumting dat happened dat is related to it..
n today, i hafta admit..
i do miss the times dat we spent together..
i dunno y we ended up tis way..
but i guess.. wat happened..
was for the best..
for both of us..
i cudnt hold on to sumting dat wasnt reli there anymore..
u're happy rite now..
while.. i am.. happy too..?
my 2 frens FINALLY made it together a couple of days back..
im happy for u guys u noe..
at last sumting worked out between u 2..
tho i tink dat it shud haf worked out long ago..
n tho sum ppl r against it..
if u guys r happy..
noting else reli matters.. =)
im happy for u guys u noe..
at last sumting worked out between u 2..
tho i tink dat it shud haf worked out long ago..
n tho sum ppl r against it..
if u guys r happy..
noting else reli matters.. =)
but plz.. dun fight evry other time.. =P
oh well..
i can see dat we're colder to each other now..
or so i tink so..
i noe there is sumting wrong..
i can feel it..
but i juz cant put my finger on wat it reli is..
is my instincts betraying me rite now?..
haiz.. i tink.. sumting did happened huh..
but it makes us.. keep a lot of stuffs..
to ourselves now..
or mayb it's juz me?..
i dun reli noe..
but wateva it is..
if dat's (wateva the 'dat' is) helping u.. in any way..
then it's a gd ting...
i'll b happy for u... =)
Hadi cant wait for tmr..
so m i..
finally..
sum exercise wid!..
badminton..
n then soccer..
n lotsa fun!..
umm.. i sure hope there'll b lotsa fun..
i dun reli wanna keep my mind on stuffs for too long..
n i dun reli wanna show it..
not to my parents..
not to my frens..
not to anybody...
it's juz ME ....
.... Supressing evryting...
.... n not knowing wat exactly to feel...
10:09 PM
