Im suppose to be the role model for my 3 younger brothers...
Im suppose to look after them when my parents are at work...
(Which btw, I haven't been doing that much)
Im suppose to know what to do when things happen...
Im suppose to be strong for the younger ones...
Im suppose to make things easier for THEM...

Other than these 'Im suppose to', I also have to excel in studies..
Which I also haven been doing a gd job ever since sec 4..
I was kinda lucky that I got into poly..
But really..
Sometimes I wish I was something more..
For myself... For them...
Cos all hopes and dreams are pinned on me...

Trouble sleeping at night..?
U bet..
Endless disturbance while sleeping..
And it's irritating me...

Sometimes..
I just feel like running away...
Sometimes..
I just feel like letting everything go...
Sometimes..
I wish Im being appreciated a lil more...
Sometimes..
I wish Im something more than what I am right now...

Im no longer the strong Widuri that u guys know..
Maybe Im still strong..
But not as strong as I was before..
Emotionally.. Mentally.. Physically...
I've never let anyone know whenever Im crying..
Or when Im feeling lost..
Or feeling down..
I'll always try to pick myself up w/o anyone's help..
The only things that's changing abt me now is..
Im becoming more stubborn..
More headstrong than ever..
It's kinda scary sometimes..
Cos these days, Im determine to get my way..
And every single thing just irritate me..
And it's circumstances that has made me this way...

So right now..
I'd like to apologise..
To the pitiful people..
Whom I shouted at, throw sarcasm at, etc..
Im just really2, very2 pressurize..
And sometimes I just cant help it..
But give the stare...




Dear you,